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- What do you call a stoner with two spliffs? Double-jointed
- How do you know do you know someone’s a true pothead? When their bongs get cleaned more often than their dishes!
- A cop asks the guy, “How high are you?” The guy responded with, “No, officer. It’s ‘Hi, how are you.’ “
- Why is a roach clip called a ‘roach clip’? Because ‘pot-holder’ was already taken.
- What happens when you eat marijuana? You get a pot belly.
- How do fish get stoned? From seaweed.
- Why did the stoner plant Cheerios in the ground? He thought they were bagel seeds.
- What do you call a person who remembers everything about Woodstock? A liar.
- What do you call it when the blunt burns your shirt? A pothole.
- How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb? Nah, man, they got lighters.
- Why did the stoner cross the street? The dispensary was on the other side!
- What do stoners do when they get lost? Turn down the music so they can see better.
- What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
- “You know, you can go to jail for weed.” “Wait, jail sells weed?!”
- Did you hear about the stoners that robbed the dispensary? They cased the joint first.